Naughty Piggy Seeks Fresh

Air in Fog of War

Thursday, 20 March 2003:  NP News - Pattaya, Thailand.

Dailys News:  Naughty, you've been under heavy fire lately for your recent comments on world leaders.  Perhaps, you'd like to clear the air.

NP:    Don't even tempt me.  I've just been to Farrell's and polished off a trough of Boston baked beans. {burp}  Whew, excusez-moi.

Dailys News:  Boy, I left myself wide open for that.  So tell us NP, are you a hawk or a dove?

NP:  I'm a pig, you moron. {rolls eyes} Anyhow, you know I try to distance myself from politics, usually limiting myself to flippant and vacuous remarks, lambasting people I know little--if not nothing--about; and in this case I shall make no exception and speak out emphatically true to my nature.  You know Jr. Bush, has some major cajones telling Saddam & Co. to "Git!"  It's unprecedented!  Frankly, we can only hope from the sidelines that this Dessert Storm doesn't turn into a major shit storm.  I'm a soft target you know.  {pokes at his belly}

Dailys News:  Ummm.  That's Desert Storm, and FYI this war is being labeled Operation Iraqi Freedom.

NP:  Freudian slip, sorry.  I must still be hungry. 

Dailys News:  Do you fear for your safety in the face of Muslim retaliation, from perhaps a global jihad?

NP:  Well, Arabs have never been big fans of the other white meat. 

Dailys News:  And how does that affect your views on the big picture for the future in the Middle East.

NP:  Well, for the record, it used to be that I was a bit of a conspiracy theorist--that's before Mel Gibson "outed me" and turned that closet hobby of mine into a mainstream joke.  I was young then.  And now that I'm a bit older, more than a few altruistic hairs have begun to grow on my chinny-chin-chin.

Dailys News:  So you're saying you're more seasoned now.

NP:  Very funny.  Must you vex me so?  Just let me finish will you?

Dailys News: Please.

NP:  Well, what I'm getting at is that there are plenty of people out there crying foul.  Yet, in the face of international opposition, Cowboy George has finally decided to drop the bomb at the EyeRacky Corral.  It's my true hope that the powers-that-be know something the rest of us don't, and that the world will be a better place for their actions.  To think otherwise, undermines the very fabric of American goodness.  But, really, I think very few people know what's really going on?  I sure don't.

But you know what would be really great when all this is finished?

Dailys News:  What's that, Naughty?

NP: I'd like to see Bush vs. Saddam, mano y mano, in the Celebrity Boxing ring.   

Dailys News:  Now that's rich.  It would be the match of the century!  I'd give 5 to 1 odds on Saddam.

NP:  Yep, definitely a dirty fighter if not an ear-biter.  The crowd would go hog-wild!

Dailys News:  20 bucks?

NP:  You're on.

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